I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
