If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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