the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
