hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Small penises have feelings too.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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