Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
