i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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