Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Randomize
