She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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