I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
