Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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