Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
