Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
