did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
