hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
