im drinking this country out of the recession.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
