ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
