Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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