My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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