My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
bring money and cleavage
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
