dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
