was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
