I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
