the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
