She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
