Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
