haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
