i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
