a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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