So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
