I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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