i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
