My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
