Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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