Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
