I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
