i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
