I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
