6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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