We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
