If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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