my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
