Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
