Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
