so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
