I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
