Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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