Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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