drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
