you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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