So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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