Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
